Excerpt from an interview with artist Will Boyd

…yeah, so I looked like him when he was born (laughs)…

Fuck

…so I was, like, really gross…and, I—just, like, I thought I was Father Time, I thought I was Father Time…I was just like, foetus position…in this cell, and I had…I had these sort of tubes—and it—on the walls were these little square windows, little sor—tiles, little square tiles…all with moving images in them…and, little, little tubes coming out from each of these tiles into me, and I was, like, absorbing all the bad stuff…and so that…all those people could have…good…times?

Mmhmm

…that’s what I was, that’s how I felt, like, I was, I was, I was taking, I was taking bad and giving good…I don’t know, so that went on for a long, long, time…and then I kind of, like, came to a bit, and I——“hold on a second”..ha!…”where am I? this isn’t Glastonbury festival—tha—this isn’t what I paid for!”…(laughs)

“Where’s the fucking music, what the fuck?!”

…yeah!…(laughing)…yeah, I didn’t pay for this…and…so, I came to, and I was like, “what the fuck?”, and I tried to open th—I stood up…uh, still a bit hazy, cause I didn’t know where—here, put it in this—…um, and, uh, um, so, I w—so I came to and I started banging on the door…and, like, really freaked out…I, I was locked in a, in a strange environment, like a blank cell, all it had was, like, a…plastic mattress and a metal loo……and, I think at this stage I was—I was still a bit fucking dazed—and this, actually, this is really quite, like, r—gross (laughs)…like, I thought I, I sort of thought I was like, I thought I was dreaming, I thought I was in a dream…I, I kind of, got a bit worried that I couldn’t escape from this trip, ‘cause I realised “yeah, I’ve been tripping,” I, I can get out of it, so, I thought I might be able to, like, crawl through spaces to come to—so, you know, as if, like, y—they say, they say, they tell you to, like, walk towards the light and stuff like that, in films, so, I was like, I—I’ll try that, so I did the fucking Trainspotting moment, and I tried to, like, crawl through the loo…(laughing)

Oh, god

…and, so, I, like, put my, like, my head in there, oh, it was…thinking back on it now: don’t do acid, kids…(laughs)…’wise you’ll end up in a loo, and god knows what kind of criminals have pissed in those loos…but yeah, it was pretty grim…and then I came properly to, I was like, actually, I’m not dreaming, I really am in this fucking…cell…uh, I don’t know what the fuck…so, I was like banging on the door, making a ruckus, being like “let me out! let me out! fucking let me out!”…uh, and…somebody, like, opened up a little hatch in the door there’s, like, a little letterbox-sized hatch which they slid open, and I could just see this pair of eyes, didn’t know whose they were…and I just see this pair of eyes and hear this voice…say: “go to sleep! just go to sleep!”…and I was like, “fuck you! let me the fuck out of here!”…I thought I was in Hostel…you seen that film Hostel?

Yeah yeah yeah

…yeah, I thought that was happening to me, I was like “fuck, I need to get out of here, man!”, I was freaking out!…and they were jus—“just go to sleep”…and I was like, “NO! I’m not gonna fucking sleep! wanna get the FUCK out of here NOW!”…and, uh, so that went on for fucking ages…banging, banging and, eventually I was just like, “I’m not getting out of here,” so, I—I, I thought “I’ll just—put the mattress on the floor…and, I—I’ll pretend to go to sleep,” so, I—I was sat there like that, with